Blog’na Wisnu

Hi Guys, I hope it can be useful for you…When it comes to breaking up, hindsight is 20/20. But wouldn’t it be nice if you could tell that you and your partner were headed for a falling out before it happened?

Fortunately, you can predict a break up. And with just a little bit of tweaking, you can get back on track and rescue your relationship before it hits the rocks.

Red Flag #1: Tuning Out
One of the most common reasons relationships fail is because one or both partners is tuning out. It might sound minor, but in actuality, few things are more hurtful than being ignored by your loved one, whether that is accompanied by emotional neglect or physical distance.

The Cure: Take Down the Wall
Tuning back in is easy. All you have to do is agree to listen to your partner’s feedback and dedicate time and emotion to the relationship again. Start taking down the emotional wall, brick by brick. Look at your partner in the eye when he or she speaks (even if it is not what you want to hear), make physical contact daily (even if it is just holding hands), and re-commit to the relationship.

Red Flag #2: Fighting Fire with Fire
Couples who fight fire with fire can expect a relationship that is constantly up in flames. Name-calling, sarcasm, criticism, and violence (from throwing things, slamming doors, to actual physical abuse) result in emotional wounds that are hard to heal and relationships that are hard to rescue.

The Cure: Pour Water on the Flames
The next time you feel anger guiding you to say, or do, things you might regret, take time to cool off. If that’s not possible, try framing your complaints as requests. For instance instead of, “Why did you forget our date?,” you could say, “I feel sad that you forgot our date. How can we make sure this doesn’t happen again?” If your partner is the one who is fanning the flames, don’t engage in the vicious cycle of insults and tantrums. You can’t fight fire with fire if the other person won’t engage in the flame-throwing.

Red Flag #3: Refusing to Own Up
No one is perfect, so why is it that some of us refuse to take responsibility in our most important relationships? Passing the buck and playing the victim are surefire ways to put a relationship in jeopardy.

The Cure: Take Responsibility for Your Actions
The next time you forget an anniversary, or say something hurtful to your spouse, don’t try to pass the buck and refuse to take responsibility. Instead, admit where you went wrong and try harder next time. Sounds simple… but it can save your relationship.
By making simple changes to the way you and your partner communicate, you can keep your relationship intact. All couples fight and argue, but it is how you fight and argue that determines whether your love can weather the storm.

Well, that’s all tips for today… Hope you enjoy it..

-Wisnu Aji-

Do you believe in love at first sight? I wanna tell a little about this topic, Hope not to bored . Scientists study our brain activity and say that it’s quiet possible but everyone is free to believe or not to believe.

Some people claim that it happened to them and it was like you raise your head, meet those eyes and tell yourself “It is He/She!”. Psychologists say that love at first sight depends on our psychological state at the moment. In some case we won’t even notice those charming eyes in another they can make a lasting impression on as. Also they say that it takes about 30 seconds to fall in love or precisely speaking to estimate whether the person is worth to fall in love with. By the way psychologists claim that men fall in love first.

Very many factors act in the situation of falling in love from the first sight. These are our ideals, intuition or “fast logic”, imagination etc. When you fall in love at the first sight you are usually ready and willing to fall in love. Less possibility that it will happen if you are tired, stressed, solving problems in you mind. Of cause the main part in falling in love is given to the appearance, voice, gestures, smell. One person intuitively searches in the other the qualities and the feature to complete him/herself. Of causes beautiful people attract attention the most, but sometimes it’s wrong to fall in love with them easily because those people are experiencing much attention from the people of the other sex all the time and your delightful reaction may simply have no answers.

But if you suddenly fall in love with quiet unknown person and see that it’s mutual that may mean even that mother-nature has chosen a partner that genetically suits you a lot. In this case it is like “aha, match!” when someone happens to fill up all the necessary categories like “tall, blond, blue-eyed, looks good, has a style and nice manners, likes me”.

Still the cases when people really had fallen in love from the first sight and lived long and happily after that are rather it. You may dream of a beautiful stranger that waits for you just around the corner but it’s wrong to name every slight sympathy and interest to a person the love at first sight. Maybe you’re just a little tired of everything that surrounds you or trying to fill the emptiness inside, yet it doesn’t mean everyone who looks nice will do. Sometimes it takes patience and time to find out the true nature of your feelings, mind that wonders do happen but not as often as we would like them too. If you suddenly have felt the wings behind you back still try to keep your feet on the ground because if it’s really love at first sight nothing will happen to it but if you’re taking illusions for reality falling back on the ground can be really hurtful.

By the way some theories say that we fall in love not from the first sight but from the first smell. Scientist claim that we pay much attention to what our eyes and ears tell us but on the subconscious level the way the person smells play a very big part in his or her expression on us although we don’t recognize it.

As always there’re as many opinions as many people. Each one has an equal right to exist because whatever the all those scientifical researches find out love still stays a sphere in which no one quiet sure in anything.

Ketika kita bertemu orang yang tepat untuk dicintai, Ketika kita berada di tempat pada saat yang tepat, Itulah kesempatan. Ketika kita bertemu dengan seseorang yang membuatmu tertarik, Itu bukan pilihan, itu kesempatan. Bertemu dalam suatu peristiwa bukanlah pilihan, Itupun adalah kesempatan.

Bila kita memutuskan untuk mencintai orang tersebut, Bahkan dengan segala kekurangannya, Itu bukan kesempatan, itu adalah pilihan. Ketika kita memilih bersama dengan seseorang walaupun apapun yang terjadi, Itu adalah pilihan. Bahkan ketika kita menyadari bahwa masih banyak orang lain Yang lebih menarik, lebih pandai, lebih kaya daripada pasanganmu Dan tetap memilih untuk mencintainya, Itulah pilihan.

Perasaan cinta, simpatik, tertarik, Datang bagai kesempatan pada kita. Tetapi cinta sejati yang abadi adalah pilihan. Pilihan yang kita lakukan. Berbicara tentang pasangan jiwa, Adasuatu kutipan dari film yang Mungkin sangat tepat : “Nasib membawa kita bersama, tetapi tetap bergantung pada kita bagaimana membuat semuanya berhasil”

Pasangan jiwa bisa benar-benar ada. Dan bahkan sangat mungkin ada seseorang Yang diciptakan hanya untukmu. Tetapi tetap berpulang padamu Untuk melakukan pilihan apakah engkau ingin Melakukan sesuatu untuk mendapatkannya, atau tidak… Kita mungkin kebetulan bertemu pasangan jiwa kita, Tetapi mencintai dan tetap bersama pasangan jiwa kita, Adalah pilihan yang harus kita lakukan.

Kita ada di dunia bukan untuk mencari seseorang yang sempurna untuk dicintai TETAPI untuk belajar mencintai orang yang tidak sempurna dengan cara yang sempurna.